I’m Filing for Divorce – Do I Have to Tell My Partner Myself?

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If you have made the difficult determination that you need a divorce, you may be wondering what the best way to share this decision with your spouse is. You may even have doubts about whether or not you should tell him or her at all. The fact is that your divorce will be unique to you and your situation, and finding the best way to share this difficult news with your spouse will depend upon the circumstances involved. Fortunately, an experienced Dayton divorce lawyer can help you find your best path forward. 

If You Aren’t Sure

Many couples come to terms with the decision to divorce between themselves, and they move forward in the process together. If you’ve made the decision on your own and you aren’t sure how to tell your spouse, consulting with a dedicated divorce attorney is a good place to start. There are some divorce situations in which a more careful approach is called for. 

Further, with legal counsel in your corner, you help ensure that you begin your divorce from an advantageous position, which includes having open access to the financial information and documentation you need. Rarely is it considered a good idea to spring a divorce on your spouse by simply having him or her served with divorce papers, but there are situations in which this can be the best option out of a bad lot (such as if your spouse is prone to violence or is otherwise abusive).

Telling Your Spouse

If the time has come to tell your spouse that you are moving forward with divorce, you should avoid the following most common don’ts (which tend to make the matter that much more challenging):

  • If you are not certain about your decision, don’t necessarily bring up divorce (which can backfire) but do discuss your concerns and suggest marital counseling or another potentially helpful approach.
  • Don’t let your spouse hear about your divorce through the grapevine or from anyone other than yourself. 
  • Don’t ask for a divorce (it’s your legal right), but do be respectful when you inform your spouse of your decision to divorce. 
  • Don’t be combative. This is a discussion, not an argument, and keeping your cool can go a long way toward fostering a less-contentious divorce process overall.
  • Don’t use your children as leverage. It’s not in your children’s best interests and can come back to haunt your case. 
  • Don’t say anything that you might later regret. For example, don’t offer your spouse whatever he or she wants as a means of softening the blow. 

Treating your spouse with respect is the best approach to take (if at all possible). 

Discuss Your Concerns with an Experienced Dayton Divorce Attorney Today

The trusted Dayton divorce attorneys at The VanNoy Firm have the experience, commitment, and legal insight to help you forge as smooth a path forward as possible – while keeping your financial and parental rights intact. For more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us today.



About The Author

Anthony S. VanNoy

Trial Attorney

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